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Blog Every Act Is a Stone Thrown in the Water

Every Act Is a Stone Thrown in the Water

23/02/2022


There is always a new beginning, no matter how unlikely it seems at times. It may be hidden in the depths of what has ended – a place you sometimes don’t care to look too deeply into. But it is often found somewhere closer to the middle, passed by hurriedly on your way to where you’ve ended up, looking for a way to begin again. 

January saw the end, at least in an earthly sense, of a particularly profound human being, the Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh. His life and teachings were infused with new beginnings however, and somewhere near the middle is where I want to focus. Thích Nhất Hạnh pioneered and practiced ‘engaged Buddhism’, where meditation is used as a tool to discover practical ways to influence situations. It is the act of meditative calm allowing the mind to separate an awareness of ‘what is’ from the melee of worldly conflict, and thus see more clearly a path toward the desired outcome.

If I could not be peaceful in the midst of danger, the peace I might realise in easier times would not mean anything. - Thích Nhất Hạnh

This approach was used in the course his life to help world leaders and political activists bring about change for the benefit of others. At times it was put to use at risk of great danger to himself and others. Many leaders, including Martin Luther King Jr., have credited his thoughtful approach with enabling peace processes and civil rights accords to come to fruition. 

I have a far less lofty, but equally practical goal to encourage you toward. Mindfulness as a daily practice brings a calmness you can use to see the hazards and conflicts in your own life, freed from any  narrative you might color them with. When you can understand that what happens has not yet ‘happened to you’, you are able to choose how your life is affected and see more clearly how best to act next.

Descartes said, “I think, therefore I am”; but most of the time, the truth is more like “I think, therefore I am not really here.” - Thích Nhất Hạnh

Much of our life passes by without us truly living it. So, when events occur that bring suffering and pain the effect is worsened, because it makes life vivid for those few brief moments, where it is otherwise gray and indistinct. Like the very first movie goers who were terrified by a moving train (‘The Arrival of a Train’ – 1896), we are shocked back into our lives, and we experience that fresh pain without the contrasting love and joy that we might have as a constant companion in a mindfully lived life.

Because we so easily live unconscious of our many micro-decisions, we miss the potential for choices that make the world around us better. Love, truly selfless and compassionate, offers no prize or reward. Ironically, the act of expressing such love, in kindness to others, brings us effortless joy. Being mindful of the many chances we have to be generous of spirit and kind to those around us, is a step toward a life where pain and loss are carefully wrapped in a certain happiness that never leaves us, no matter what.

Each person we meet and interact with, whether a stranger or an old friend, is an opportunity to release more love into the world; to create a joy that ripples out beyond that single encounter. When we are not present and not fully aware of others we are more likely to not notice a stranger and to barely acknowledge a friend. A small part of your conscious mind will recognise this absence, and if you look carefully you can feel a sense of loss in a recent conversation or interaction. It is this lack of presence that often leads to our unwitting unkindness to others, which in turn wounds us as much as it spreads out and infects the world.

Every act is a stone thrown in the water.
The ripples carry it out beyond your control.
So choose wisely.

This short exercise, taken directly from the writings of Thích Nhất Hạnh, may help you connect more mindfully with your own choices. Find a quiet place and a few uninterrupted minutes to practice this:

“Breathing in, I follow my in-breath all the way from the beginning to the end. Breathing out, I follow my out-breath all the way from the beginning to the end.” The in-breath may last two seconds, five seconds, or more. You follow the entire in-breath from the very beginning to the very end, without any interruption, and you enjoy the whole journey, the whole length of the breath. In that way your concentration becomes stronger and stronger. That’s how we train ourselves in concentration. Mindfulness carries within it the energy of concentration, and with concentration, conditions are ripe for insight to manifest at any moment. - Thích Nhất Hạnh (from ‘Fear – Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm’)

My own experience is that mindfulness brings clarity, joy, and calm to what is otherwise nothingness. Those qualities then influence the awareness I have and the corresponding choices I make. The tangible results are increased productivity and satisfaction, and more connectedness with everything and everyone around me. Simply put, I cast my stones more carefully.


Join us for our group coaching program The Art of Mindful Leadership to explore where you are, where you want to go and how you begin your journey. Our programs are also available as one-week intensive retreats.

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About the Author:

Photo of Kyle RichardsonKYLE RICHARDSON

My agile journey began 8-9 years ago as part of a search to align what I do for a living with the person I want to be. I see agile first as a philosophy for life, and the way that blends with both Zen and Stoic principles allows for a more holistic work life. For me what I do is an essential part of who I am so it all needs to be done with equal kindness and compassion, upheld by a strong desire to enable others along their chosen path. Working in the software industry allows me to geek out on tech and be passionate about improving communication networks and fostering strong customer-centric cultures (after all, we are all each other’s customers in one way or another).

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