Most of us can come up with at least one example of when we felt on the outside or that the situation we found ourselves in was just awkward. We can probably also name a time or two when we just didn’t feel we could speak up or if we did that nobody would listen. Imagine that being how you felt every day at work. Maybe it is how some of you feel.

2020 has exposed a lot of truths that we didn’t want to face, but in reality people do not always feel a part of the whole and quite often feel that they are intentionally not a part. Let’s take an example that I use quite frequently in workshops, because it is one that doesn’t require most of us to stretch to understand the concept or to relate to what is happening. And by doing this, hopefully it will open our eyes to think of other areas where maybe we, ourselves, have unintentionally excluded someone or a group of people through our actions and words.

So let’s set the stage:

• 9 people around a conference room table or on a video conference

• Manager leading the meeting with a loose or no agenda but there were topics that needed to be discussed

• Meeting starts with little to no pleasantries because the manager “is all business.”

The manager runs the meeting by introducing a topic, giving minimal background information, and then saying “so what do you guys think?”

What is going to happen when people are put on the spot?

What is going to happen? The ones who always speak up and talk will do so. Those who don’t won’t. But today the manager decides he wants everyone’s opinion. He has not stated that up front but it was in his mind when he walked into the meeting. So the more boisterous team members have their say and the manager says “OK. Let’s hear from Sam.”

A little bit about Sam:

• 10 years of experience in software development

• Considered a senior developer based on his technical skills

• Keeps his head down and gets his work finished on time

• Likes to work on his own and rarely contributes to group conversations

• Uses chat or email if he needs to communicate with others and only when essential

Sam is very introverted and does not like to speak in front of people. He likes to think through his responses and formulate a written response when needed. What do you think is going through Sam’s mind when he hears his name? 

Sam is now internally panicked. The panic may even show on his face and his body language. Slumped shoulders, clenched teeth, holding breath, white knuckles holding onto his chair arms. And he may be thinking “What was the question? What do they want me to say? I didn’t prepare a response. I never speak in these meetings. I am just here because it is required.”

Meanwhile, the manager thinks he has done something great. He was in a meeting last week and the VP said that it was really important that more ideas were considered and that we need to make sure people are getting a chance to float their concerns or contribute. So, he has thought about it and he realizes he doesn’t often give time for everyone to provide input because the problems get solved by those who speak up on their own. Solution: Go around the room and call on everyone.

Let’s examine how these two people are on polar opposites of the situation. Sam doesn’t want to participate and is now flustered because he has never had to before and the manager thinks he is being inclusive. What could the manager have done differently?

Make sure your attempts at inclusion don’t make matters worse

At a minimum if you are going to change how you conduct business, be transparent and let people know. BUT more importantly ensure that your inclusion does not make matters worse and become even more exclusive. When you want people to pitch ideas or be creative, catching them off guard will not yield the results you want. People like Sam are not innovative under a spotlight. They are desperately trying to just get you to stop looking at them and move on so will say anything to make it end.

Polls, Voting, Virtual Collaboration, and More…

There are a lot of methods and techniques you can use to create and innovate or elicit feedback that do not require an open, in-your-face approach. Why not send out a poll or virtual white board where people can post ideas (even anonymously)? Then ask the team members to up-vote the ones that are most appealing to them.

Once you have the top three ideas, let the team know which ones came to the top and ask them to be prepared to debate and choose in the next team meeting. Now, Sam is not likely to be a heavy debater, especially not the first time, but he will have a chance on his own to contribute ideas and up-vote his colleagues’ ideas. He is now part of the circle. And then in the meeting, don’t push the “everyone needs to say something” angle. Everyone has already had a part in where the decisions are heading. It is possible that not everyone feels overly strong about one idea over another and truly doesn’t have more to contribute. And then after you have had time to discuss the ideas, let the team vote virtually again on the top idea and go with it.

This is one very simple idea for more inclusive practices. However, I encourage you to think about how you may have inadvertently excluded people from feeling they have a voice in your environment and then brainstorm ways in which you can change that.

And if after reading this you want to explore more, I suggest you check out the Replays of my Lives on my YouTube channel or reach out to discuss how I could help your organization through workshops on team culture including how to Give Everyone a Voice in Collaborative Spaces.

Learn more about the work that we do and the programs that we offer. Set up a call to start planning how you want to change the culture of your organization.

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About the Author:

INDRA A. BOOKS

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