I think, therefore I stress

“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.” — Marcus Aurelius

It’s interesting to think that the source of all our anxiety is ourselves, because we strive for something, or against something that is outside our control. That quote is pertinent because the difference we need to make here is all about personal choice; the practice of acceptance.

(Note: This article does not serve as medical or clinical advice, and is addressing paths to deal with workplace stress and anxiety to improve workplace culture and productivity.)

Another prominent Stoic philosopher, Epictetus had this to say:

“Ta eph'hemin, ta ouk eph'hemin”

Translated literally as ‘What is up to us, what is not up to us’, he was making the same point: that things do happen (unavoidable), but only we can decide to let them happen ‘to us’. 

It’s no stretch to see where I’m going here, given that my goal is about improving productivity. The obvious connection lies in the notion that anyone less afflicted with anxiety, fear, and any other negative draining emotions, is always going to do a better job. Think for a minute of that perfect day, the few times (or maybe just that one time) when everything went right and felt easy. How capable did you feel that day? How much did you achieve? How less significant were all the worries and concerns you generally carry like a yoke across your back?

I’m not going to try and convince you here that every day can be that good (I believe it can but it’s a journey to get there). Instead, I want to examine the prospect that it is to a large extent the fears and worries we carry, that prevent or derail those days and moments when the sun comes out and everything is beautiful. 

So where are we going with this; what practical steps can we take to reduce the burden of anxiety in our busy daily lives? And importantly (because there’s no such thing as a free lunch), what can we do that isn’t just ‘stop working and take a break’?

Start by telling yourself this uncomfortable truth – most of what you spend your time thinking about is repetitive, useless, and likely to be harmful. Your brain is not exclusively you – like everything else it is just another part; a functional organ with a job to do. It has many functions to perform, one of which is to keep interpreting the past and imagining the future. This mechanism exists to keep us safe, but it was invented for a much more dangerous time and space, where our ability to flee without stopping to think was all that kept us in the gene pool. 

This level of thinking needs to be involuntary for it to be effective in times of mortal danger, and we probably don’t want to lose it, as it can at times still keep your name off the Darwin award shortlist. What you must do is learn to watch that pre-Holocene thinker. And for that to happen you need to create space, so here are some suggestions to start with.

All the world’s problems are not yours

Stop reading news and current events. At least, stop reading it other than a specific time each day or week, but stop altogether if you can. Most of it is outside your control and very little of it could ever help you make the world a better place. There is no need to feel like you are turning your back on the world or somehow failing in your civic duty – unless you’re a politician, journalist, or follow some similar profession, you simply don’t need to know everything that is happening everywhere (and to everyone). If you really want to leverage the latest headlines to positive effect, start by deciding what or who you are passionate about achieving or helping, and search for news specific to that cause. 

Social media dieting

Give up all or most social media behaviour. Unless you are in some way unusual, the majority of those connections are insubstantial, and unlikely to yield any real benefit. Understand that the number of ‘likes’ you receive (or don’t) is completely outside your control and only has emotional power over you because you let it. One of the strongest drivers in human nature is our desire to connect to others; to be part of a tribe. It’s an advantage to belong to a strong social group, and that desire makes us prone to the need for our peers approval. The problem with that is that as my pal Epictetus made clear – it’s totally outside of your control. So when that approval is not forthcoming or in some way delayed, we risk feeling rejected, alone, and unloved.

Be present

Focus on the ‘now’, the present moment. Determine that your brain will not continually see the present only as a chance for events to repeat, or an excuse to avoid what’s really happening by dreaming of what might happen next. There’s certainly some value in understanding your history, because to some extent it repeats. But if you are not open to new possibilities and prepared to evaluate your experience freshly as often as possible, you are likely condemning yourself to a life of nothing but repetition (and that can be like living with a permanent hangover for some of us). To practice this you could try the following:

Make a time slot each day to imagine the worst that can happen. Another approach is to check your memory and imagine the worst possible cases and results just before you go into the next meeting/appointment. Then breathe and let it go – you’ve seen the worst and therefore know what your options are, should life deal the cards that way. But that doesn’t mean you have to help fate along – you can instead take each moment and adapt – using your safety line only if needed.

Write it down

Start a journal. Many of the greatest thinkers in human history made time each day to put down their thoughts, their expectations, and a few mantras to be a guiding presence when the darkness obscured their best selves. First thing in the morning or last at night are great times for this, but anytime you can carve out is good - a few minutes of solitude has the ability to create peace and stillness that you can draw strength from as the day unfolds. The act of physically touching pen to paper (or finger to tablet) reinforces the thoughts and ideas you capture. Revisiting what you’ve written and reflecting is a great way to sharpen this skill, but there is value to be gained by simply completing the exercise.

Breathe

In an emergency, stop thinking and focus on your breath. To do this effectively, find a quiet space. Then sit or stand with good posture but your body relaxed and comfortably resting (if seated, place your hands in your lap and your feet flat on the floor). If you’re new to this, close your eyes, as it may help with focus. Take a series of 5 breaths in and out through the nose; as deeply as possible. Focus on the feeling of each breath at the tip of your nose; the edge of your nostrils should feel cold as you breath in and warm as you breath out. Feel that temperature change in each cycle of breath and let every other thought go. With practice this can be incorporated into a busy meeting, eyes wide open, no-one the wiser – and that 1 minute break can restore sanity and strength and reduce stress instantly.  

…And Finally

The good news is that there is always more work to be done. Reading this or something else and being willing to observe yourself is a good first step. In each anxious or stressful situation you face, some of the strategies described here may help. Remember that only you can choose how to judge what comes before you; the narrative you create. One last translated quote from Epictetus to support my train of thought is this:

“Each jug has two handles, one that will bear weight and one that will not” 

What I make of this is that each time you are faced with something new, or indeed something previously seen that you are willing to view with fresh eyes, you must decide how to take it in. You can choose to see the worst outcome; to let your brain colour in the future with the crayons of your history. Or you can choose to find the good and the useful; the opportunity each action presents.

So do the work. Learn to apply techniques that help you when you are struggling. Understand that only practice can make this easier. Accept that you, like everyone else, are a work in progress. Do the work.

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About the Author:

KYLE RICHARDSON

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